Jackass Piece: Number Two and a Half
by Voltage Axe
Summary: Here's the real sequel to the original O.P. edition of MTV's Jackass, this time with more crazier stunts and my OCs guest star in this fic. R&R and constructive criticism allowed! AUTHOR'S NOTE/ANNOUNCEMENT ADDED!
1. MOAR CRAZY CRAP!

**Jackass Piece (Number 2.5!)**

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**A/N (Introduction):** (reading an +18 ZoroNami H-rated doujinishi) Wow, who knew there was 69-ing in this page? (notices the readers) WHOA! (puts down doujin) Sorry. Anyway, welcome to another fine edition of Jackass: One Piece. This edition is known as 2.5; the .5 is just more hilarious, dangerous and stupid stunts done by the ONLY Straw Hats Pirate Crew. Thank you for reading this and please comment and favourite this, thank you again. (goes back to reading doujin, turns page and gets shocked at the climax scene)

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the One Piece anime/manga and the Jackass TV show. One Piece is by Eiichiro Oda, and its anime licensing rights had been given to Shounen Jump. And, we do not own Jackass since it's by MTV (also by Johnny Knoxville). ©Copyright, August 2008.**

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**WARNING: ** PLEASE DO NOT ATTEMPT THE FOLLOWING STUNTS AFTER READING THIS FANFIC. THE STUNTS THAT YOU READ ARE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AND COULD HARM YOU AND OTHERS IF DONE. THE FOLLOWING ALSO CONTAINS A SENSE OF HUMOUR THAT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNG PEOPLE AND MAY CONTAIN SOME LANGUANGE THAT IS OFFENDING AND PROFANE. PLEASE BE ADVISED BEFORE YOU READ THIS FANFIC, AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.

* * *

Luffy and his nakama are standing in front of the camera in the city of Alabasta.

"Hey, I'm Luffy!"

"I'm Roronoa Zoro..."

"I'm Sanji..."

"What's up? I'm Usopp!"

"Hello, I'm Tony Tony Chopper!"

"I'm Nami, the navigator for the Straw Hats!"

"I'm Nico Robin..."

"Yo, this is Franky and it is SUPER!!"

"YO-HO-HO! Brooke here!"

"WELCOME TO JACKASS!" they all introduced at the same time.

After they introduced their show, the marines suddenly came after them.

"HEY! STOP IN THE NAME OF LAW!" one of them shouted.

The Straw Hats turned around and stuck their middle fingers at the charging marines, also making silly faces. That pissed off most of the marines and they got out their rifles and the pirate crew began running. The marines then tried to shoot at them, but their bullets missed. The Straw Hats then ran into an alleyway and cut a corner, trying to lose them. However, the group of marines saw them cut the corner to the right and followed after them...BIG MISTAKE.

Waiting for them around the corner was a 14-year-old Asian boy and a 16-year-old Asian teen, carrying flame-thrower weapons. The marines suddenly stop at the chasing, before they back off slowly...too late.

"AAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!" the two Asians pulled the triggers of their weapons, and flames spewed out from the igniters.

The marines were severely burnt to a crisp, and all you can see after when the flames had stopped there were ashes around the area where the marines once stood.

"Hey, I'm Sunny..." the 14-year-old introduced himself.

"And I'm Kevin..." he did the same thing.

"And we're guest hosts for Jackass Piece—Number Two (and a Half): More Crazy SHIT!"

Cut to the opening theme and intro of the show. The theme song plays as several snippets of extreme, dangerous stunts play. At the end of the song, the last snippet preview shows Sunny and Luffy being chased by ferocious, man-eating bears.

* * *

The first stunt takes place in a forest of a random island. We then see Sunny, Kevin, Luffy, and Zoro walking into the camera's view, facing the camera.

"Hey, hey! I'm Sunny!"

"Hi guys, I'm Kevin."

"Hello, everybody! My name's Luffy!"

Zoro sighed. "Yes, my name's Zoro..."

"And this is **_Pissing off Bees_**!" they introduced their stunt.

The camera is moved to where there's an area full of bee-hives on the branches of trees.

"Oh, Luffy?" Kevin asked beside him.

"What?" Luffy asked.

"I dare you to piss off those bees that are in their hives right now!" he dared him.

"Okay!" Luffy accepted the dare.

He then super-charged his Gum-Gum fighting powers to his right arm. Who knows he would be doing with that?

"GUM-GUM...PISTOL!" he shouted as he used his power to knock the hive out of the branch with his swinging right arm.

The hive was knocked off immediately, but then it created a chain-reaction, since it was placed next to ANOTHER hive on another branch on another tree. One by one, each and every hive was knocked down in a domino chain, and the hives dropped to the ground breaking them. The angry, angry bees came out from their destroyed hives and charged at the four men.

"RUN!!" Sunny shouted as they ran for their lives.

A million bees then took chase after them, pissed off after being dislocated from their hives. Luffy nearly lost his straw hat as he ran really fast in order to lose the bees. Roronoa Zoro used his Oni Giri to repel the bees, but they missed his attack and instead the bees charged at him.

40 minutes later...

"Hey, where is Luffy and Zoro?" Usopp asked Chopper.

They were in a cabin lodge, and it was nearly evening already.

"I don't know. But most importantly, where's Sunny and Kevin?" Chopper answered and then asked.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the wooden door. Usopp checked by opening the door.

"WHOA! What happened to you?!"

The four men had frowns on their faces, as they had bee stings on their arms, hands, and faces.

"Usopp, what's going on outside?" Chopper then came to where Usopp was.

The reindeer too had the same reaction as Usopp when he saw that all four males had bee stings on them.

"Okay, guys! I think I know how to cure bee stings!"

The four men then stared at each other with expressions of relief, hoping that the cure can actually get rid of those bee stings. Instead, they screamed and sobbed in pain all night long as Chopper pulled their stings out...and used Iodine and alcohol-swab treatment.

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The next stunt takes place in a public park in one of the towns the Straw Hats have been to. There, we see Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Usopp, and Franky all on one area of grassy field. The camera faces them.

"Hi, I'm Luffy and this is the **_Teeth-Catcher 500_**! You catch stuff with your teeth for points! Whoever wins, um...well, we haven't figured that part out. So..." the captain of S.H. said.

(**A/N: **I took this idea from Kenny Roger's Jackass, which is a really funny skit on Mad TV. So, please don't make any similarities between my idea and their idea...thank you.)

"GAME ON!" Franky shouted as the four men at the other side lined up.

Franky then got a random object from the large bag beside him, and hurled the object in the air. It was a mallet, and the four men pushed and shoved each other to try to catch the big object with their teeth. The first one to try to catch the mallet with his teeth was Zoro, but instead he missed and the mallet ended up whacking him in the head. The swordsman was knocked out by that hit shortly, but got back up with a slight bruise. The next object Franky threw hard in the air was a cannonball.

He threw it real hard in the air, and the cannonball came falling down fast and the four men fought each other for one of them to catch the ball with their teeth. Luffy was the second man attempting to catch the big ball with his dentures, but the cannonball conks him in the head. Luffy was knocked out unconscious, but after a few minutes he was okay and he continued to play. Franky then threw the third object; it was an American football that was thrown. This time, Sanji pushed Usopp out of his way and closed his eyes and opened his mouth since he could not miss it.

Unfortunately, the football hit him in the groin and the love-cook felt the pain down there and held his crotch in pain as he fell down.

"Ready for the last object, guys?" Franky shouted his question over to the four nakamas.

They all nodded over there, and Franky pulled out a big anvil that shocked all of the teeth-catchers.

"Whoa! I can't catch that with my teeth!" Luffy reacted.

"Yeah, me too!" Zoro also reacted.

"So does me!" Sanji did the same thing.

But it was too late, as Franky threw the anvil real hard and the anvil comes flying at Usopp's path.

"AAAAAAHHHHH!!" Usopp screamed as the anvil flied at him.

But somehow, the anvil was stopped from being hurled at him. How?

"Hey, Usopp! You caught the anvil with your teeth!" Luffy said to him.

"I did?" Usopp replied. "WOO-HOO!"

Suddenly, his body went through the ground as the massive weight of the anvil caused it. Fortunately, his head still sticks out.

"Um, guys? I need help here!"

But then the rest of his fellows left to get some ice cream, and it was already sunset.

"WHAT?! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE! GUYS!"

* * *

After a few commercials, the show resumes as the camera faces the seven men on the deck of the Thousand Sunny.

"Upon watching Kenny Rogers' Jackass—a skit from Mad TV—we wrote down the names of the stunts the actors did as a list on a piece of paper." Kevin explained to the camera.

"So, we decided to re-create a stunt that's well deserved funny and stupendous!" Sunny continued the explanation.

"But it was tough choosing which one to re-create." Kevin continued on. "Fortunately, we randomly picked one and the one stunt we re-create is...the **_Sack Race_**."

"Okay, guys! Let's see these sacks!" Sunny called out to the five men.

Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Usopp, and Franky then unbuttoned and unzipped, pulling their pants down and exposing their genitals right in front of the camera.

"On your marks!" Sunny shouted at the side of the deck. "GO!"

The five men then hopped with their pants down at such a very low level, it was like an actual sack race...except this concept is different. At one point, Luffy tumbled then recovered but was actually behind the rest of the pack by a half mile. At halfway to the finish line, Sanji and Usopp crashed into each other and both fell down instantly. They got back up slowly, but now the real competition was now Zoro and Franky. Their crotches exposed, both hopped furiously with the sack racers behind them trying to beat each other for the first place finish.

As they got to the finish line, which was a line tied to two trash cans full of break-away bats, Zoro pushed Franky beside him as he hopped and Franky fell down on the wooden floor. Zoro then reached to the finish line, tugging the line down forcing the trash cans to spill out the bats. As soon as the rest finish, they reached for the bats and fight each other trying to hit the other one's balls with the bats. Luffy hit Zoro in the nuts with a swing of the bat, and so did Sanji who fought back at Usopp for revenge.

* * *

The camera then cuts to a location inside the corridors of the Thousand Sunny. We then see Luffy and Kevin appear out of nowhere and they yell out "BOO!" at the same time.

"I'm Luffy!"

"I'm Kevin!"

"And this is **_Scaring Shit out of People_**!" they both introduced at the same time.

The scene then shifts to outside Usopp's room, where Luffy is standing next to the door preparing for Usopp to exit. When he hears Usopp about to unlock the door, he shushes the camera at what he's about to do. Usopp unlocks the door and opens it, and when he takes his first step Luffy comes out of nowhere and surprises Usopp by shouting "YAAAAAGH!" and stretching his eyes and mouth.

"AAAAAHHH!" Usopp shrieked as he nearly had a heart attack being surprised by Luffy.

"HA! HA!" Luffy then left quickly.

"LUFFY! YOU JERK-OFF!" Usopp spat out in anger at him.

The scene then cuts to where Kevin is outside the kitchen door. He puts on a werewolf mask, and then silently creaks open the door to see that Sanji has his back in front of him, making foods for lunch. Kevin in the mask then crouches down, sneaking in and about to scare the hell out of Sanji. When he's close to him that enough he slowly stands up then taps the blond love-cook on the right shoulder a few times.

"Nami-swan, is that you?" Sanji asked then turned his back.

"RAWR!!"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Sanji screamed like a little girl, horrified. "A WEREWOLF! HELLLP!" he panicked for a second, then got out a frying pan.

Kevin then took off the werewolf mask and laughed out loud.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Sanji then snapped in a mad expression.

Kevin then took off out of the kitchen, with a pissed-off Sanji coming out of the kitchen.

"NO SOUP FOR YOU!!" Sanji yelled at him, waving the frying pan.

The next scene then shows Luffy walking into Nami's bedroom and hiding under her bed. There, he waits for Nami to come in so that he could scare the shit out of her. After a few moments, Nami comes into the room and when Luffy hears Nami coming in he finds the perfect timing then he springs out from under the bed and goes "AAAAAAHHH!!" at her.

"LUFFY!" Nami then got enraged after being surprised.

Luffy attempted to escape but gets caught by Nami, and then he gets beaten to death by the angry navigator for the Straw Hats.

Meanwhile, Kevin sneaks behind Zoro who is in the middle of a training session and shushes to the camera because he is about to scare Zoro. Kevin then turns around and jumps up, covering the swordsman's eyes standing behind him.

"GUESS WHO?!"

"WHA?!" Zoro reacted.

"SCREW YOU!" he then grabbed his swords. "ONI GIRI!"

Soon after that, Kevin and Luffy appear at the dining room of the ship. Both of them are badly bruised, bandaged, and bleeding.

"Kevin?" Luffy asked.

"Yeah?"

"Let's not do this shit again..."

* * *

The fifth stunt takes place on the rooftop of a skyscraper. There, the camera focuses on Luffy closing the door access to the stairways.

"Hi, I'm Luffy and this is **_Freefalling without a Parachute_**!"

Luffy then runs towards the edge of the building and jumps off of the 80-storey skyscraper. A second camera view from the ground shows Luffy falling at a fast rate of 85 km/h plummeting towards the ground. When he falls to the pavement at that rate of speed, the ground explodes in front of the camera with dust and flying debris blocking the result. After the dust had been cleared, we see Luffy emerging from the giant hole caused by him falling into the ground and that he has a few scratches.

"Yeah, I'm really okay!" he smiled while putting a thumb up.

"HEY! IT'S THE CAPTAIN OF THE STRAW HATS!"

"UH-OH, I've been spotted by the marines! Gotta go!" Luffy then left quickly.

"GET THAT KID!"

And the marines took off after him.

* * *

The screen fades to black then it fades back on as the final stunt takes place in the woods. There, we see Sunny, Luffy, Usopp, and Sanji carrying bags full of firecrackers.

"Hello, I'm Sunny."

"I'm Monkey D. Luffy!"

"Hi, I'm Sanji."

"And I'm Usopp!"

"And this is **_Firecracker Duellists_**!" Sunny introduced their new stunt. "Think fast!" he threw a firecracker at Luffy's crotch which explodes.

"It's ON, NOW!" Luffy shouted.

Both men then threw firecrackers at each other, thus starting the battle. Luffy chased Sunny through the paths of the woods while Sanji chased Usopp holding a lot of lit firecrackers in his hand. Both pairs split up paths through the thick, fulfilled woods. The camera then focuses on Sunny being chased by Luffy, and Luffy throwing firecrackers at him while running. Sunny responded back by throwing several firecrackers aiming at the charging Luffy. Some missed, and they all explode and crack disturbing wildlife animals inhabiting there.

When they reached an area inhabited by large, grizzly bears Sunny slowly backed away from the chasing Luffy, about to be bombarded by the firecrackers he had. Suddenly, he bumped into a grizzly bear twice his size and turned around to see the furry bear growling at him in anger.

"AAAHH!" both of them screamed.

The bear then roared in response then charged right at them. Both Luffy and Sunny then threw firecrackers at the bear trying to slow him down but it wouldn't work. That's when they decided to run back to where they started, but with the bear still chasing after them. They looked back for a moment to see that the furious bear still is catching up to them by the mile. Fortunately they were close to reaching to the start point of the woods so they might have a chance to survive.

Bad news for them however, another trio of bears suddenly blocked their path to freedom. Luffy and Sunny screamed and hollered as they jump over the bears trying to eat them. They made their jump, and got out of the woods with the bears still chasing after them. There, Sunny and Luffy see Zoro relaxing by the cabin.

"ZORRRRO! HELP! BEARS!" they began yelling and shouting at Zoro for help.

"Eh? Bears?!" that's when he got out his three swords.

Luffy and Sunny got behind Zoro as the green-haired strong man prepared to do his attack to defend his fellows.

"ONI...GIRI!" he shouted, as the attack blasted the bears back to where they came from.

"You guys okay?" he then asked the duo.

"Yeah, we're fine." they both answered.

Suddenly, Usopp comes out of the woods being attacked and chased by Sanji with the firecrackers. He has burn marks all over his body due to the firecrackers being thrown at by the love-cook.

"AH! Please, no more!" Usopp yelped as he gets hit by Sanji's firecracker.

"YES! I WIN!" Sanji yelled in victory.

Sunny and Luffy stared at each other in a smug expression, and then they threw their leftover firecrackers at Sanji, who then gets chased around by the two guys.

Zoro sighed. "Maybe I should go in the cabin now..."

He walked to the cabin as Sanji was still getting chased around by Sunny and Luffy.

* * *

After a few commercial breaks, the camera faces the Straw Hat crew and Sunny and Kevin.

"I'm sorry, but this is the end of the show." Nami said to the camera.

"But we'll be back for another time here on Jackass: One Piece Edition!" Sanji spoke.

"Good-bye!" the whole cast shouted at the same time.

Then, Luffy tapes a few rockets onto his shoes and Usopp lights up the fuses. Once the fuses reached their ends, Luffy goes flying into the orbit while his fellow nakama watched on.

"You think he'll be alright?" Sunny asked.

"I doubt he'll be alright." Chopper replied to his question.

* * *

As the credits roll and the theme song plays, a blooper is shown. There, Luffy's first attempt at jumping off of a building without a parachute did not go so well. He jumps off, but somehow landed in a cart full of cow manure. Luffy then makes a disgusted face in the cart as the song and credits end.

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**END!**


	2. An Announcement, Plz!

**Please read this...AUTHOR'S NOTE.  
**

Due to the fact that both Jackass: One Piece Edition fanfictions are real successes, I have decided to make a third one. However, it won't be another One Piece edition unfortunately but...

It will be a third one that _**COMBINES ALL THE OTHER ANIMES ALONG WITH IT!**_

**Luffy: **YAY!

That's right, Luffy! The third Jackass/Anime fanfic will be an Anime x-over! Now starring alongside with the Straw Hats in this epic fic...NARUTO!

**Naruto: **Believe it!

...BLEACH!

**Ichigo: **Hm...

...DEATH NOTE!

**Light: **Wait, I have a question. Are we getting paid for this?

YOU BET!

**Light and L: **AWESOME!

And other casts of animes are gonna be starring in this ultimate fanfic of MASS LOL!!

(Casts of Dragonball Z, Eureka Seven, InuYasha, and other animes cheer out loud.)

DON'T MISS IT! **JACKASS: ANIME X-OVERS EDITION** IS COMING TO YOU SOON!

(Suddenly, the lights go off and everything's dark.)

NOW, WHO TURNED OFF THE LIGHTS?!

**Goku: **SORRY!


End file.
